Tuesday, 13 November 2012

I Am Never Taking A 7 Year Old Shopping Again....Like.....Ever.

As many of you know my eldest is in his last year of primary school. End of an era, and with that comes preparations for the Year 6 Graduation. It seems the preparations surrounding what to wear are just as big for the boys as they are for the girls.

This year the boys have all decided they want to wear Vans. So after educating myself on what Vans actually were – no, not a vehicle used to deliver my veges every week, apparently they are actually a shoe – who knew?

I had a whole day planned full of things I needed to get done around the house, but I thought a quick trip to our local surf shop with Master almost 12 and I could cross the shoes off my to-do list. The fatal flaw in my plan however was when I asked Master 7 if he wanted to come too. From there, it was all down-hill.

So, straight to the shops we go, and minus a slight distraction on my part by the new Christmas shop that had opened, it was straight to the surf shop. Right, in, out. Easy.

Me: “Okay, which ones do you like?”

Master almost 12: “Purple ones”

Shop Assistant: “Sorry, we don’t have those in your size”

Master almost 12: “Red ones”

Shop Assistant: “Sorry, don’t have your size”

Master almost 12: “Orange & red ones”

Shop Assistant: “Yep, we’ve got those ones in your size”

Master almost 12: “That’ll do.”

Great, done, love it. Next.

Master 7: “Can I have those?” (pointing at large oversized pair of basketball type shoes)

Me “No”

Master 7: “Can I have those?” (pointing at another large oversized pair of basketball type shoes)

Me “No”

Master 7: “Can I have those?” (pointing at yet another large oversized pair of basketball type shoes)

Me “No. Basically, stop looking at oversized basketball shoes. It’s nearly summer, you don’t play basketball, and you’re not getting a pair”

Master 7 after spending 5min whinging about the basketball shoes: “What about these?”-pointing to a pair of blue & black Globe sneaker things without laces

Me –“Okay, let’s see if they have your size”

So we try a size 12, nope they seem a bit small, then we try a size 13, nope they seem a bit big. Then we sit there and stare at them. Then we stare at the shop assistant. Then we stare at the shoes some more.

Me: “Okay, so they don’t fit. What about a pair of the Vans. What about this red pair. They are in your size”

Master 7: “hmmmm”

Success! We try on the red Vans and they fit. Success was short lived however when instead of looking at his feet or even bothering to go for a walk to “test them”, he’s already looking at the shelves again.

Me: “What’s wrong”

Master 7: “I want the blue & black ones”

Me: “They don’t fit”

Master 7: “hmmmm”

Me: “Okay, so let’s get the red ones”

Master 7 “I don’t want laces”

Of course not, what boy would possibly want shoe laces on a pair of shoes.

Master 7: “Can I have those?” (pointing at large oversized pair of basketball type shoes)

Me “No”

Master 7: “Can I have those?” (pointing at another large oversized pair of basketball type shoes)

Me: “No. Seriously, we’re not going through this again”

Master 7: “I’ll try the blue/black ones”

Of course – because in the 5min since you last tried them on they now magically fit you.

Me: “They don’t fit you. Pick another pair. What about these? They don’t have laces”

Master 7: “hmmmm”

At this point I can be heard sucking in air trying not to throw a tantrum worthy of any 2 year old. We have the most patient sales assistant you’ve ever seen in your life, who I was continually telling to serve every other customer in the store, we were clearly going to be a while.

Me: “What other colour do you want to try?”

Master 7: “These ones” pointing to a black pair identical to a pair he already has.

Me “You already have a pair like that”

Master 7 “What about these ones then”

Me “They are the same shoes. You’ve got a black pair. I’m not buying you another pair of shoes the same as the ones you’ve already got”

Master 7 “hmmm”

It’s about now I actually have to get out my phone, walk away, ring DH and let him know that I am NEVER, EVER going shoe shopping with Master 7 again.......EVER. I now know how Taylor Swift feels.
Fast forward another 15min.


Master 7 “hmmmm”

Me “Can someone please help put me out of my misery. Anybody?”

Master 7 “hmmmm. Maybe those purple ones”

Me to sales assistant : “Quick, grab them. NOW!!!!”

Master 7: “These are pretty good.”

Me: “Do they fit?”

Master 7: “hmmmm”

Me: “You know what, I don’t care – we’re getting these. If I don’t’ get out of this shop now I am seriously going to have a breakdown”

Most patient shop assistant to ever walk the earth “it’s okay, let’s check”.

PHEW – they fit. They didn’t have laces. They were purple – apparently that’s cool, and after waking Master almost 12 up who had fallen asleep in the corner of the store (or passed out from boredom) we were finally able to leave the store.

Master 7 “can you take a photo of my shoes and send to Pop. I think I’ll tell him about my shoes”

Yep, because your almost 70 year old grandfather who I think owns 2 pairs of shoes will be delighted to hear all about your new purple shoes. Sure. So of course, the photo turns out blue, not purple and so begins a whole other world of pain which I will save for another day.

Never again........like.....EVER.


Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT


  1. This is what life is like with my five year old fashionista daughter. By the way I love your older boys choice! I've got a red pair of Vans myself. I cant believe I'm actually cool from a tween (nearly teen) point of view.

    1. I know, they are pretty cool aren't they. I think I might get myself a pair too :)

  2. THIS is why I carry the outline of the kids feet on a piece of card along with their body measurements (waist, hips, bust, length between nape of neck & knee, head circumference & height) in my purse...I can shop while they are at school!!!!!

    1. OMG - I love it!!!!! That is the best idea ever.

  3. Oh crikey! I'm sure I have days like this ahead of me. Yay, for getting out of there with some shoes!

    1. I think I need therapy to recover :)

  4. ahh shoe shopping!!! got to love it!!! I had a good giggle!


  5. hahah! Sorry for laughing at your misery, but this was a great read.

  6. You did very well to remain as patient as you did. Mine's only almost three but I already know she's a ditherer. And I am impatient as they come. Will not take a 7 year old shopping on your advice :)

    1. Good plan Zanni - trust me - don't do it.....ever :)

  7. Oh I felt stressed just reading this!!!
    I though girls were bad!

    1. I know - so did I. I was thinking how easy I was going to have it with 3 boys......what went wrong?

  8. You and I are are living parallel lives hun. Every time I read your posts I feel like you are talking about my boys. I feel your pain - honestly I really really do, but shit its good to laugh at someone elses pain for once. :) xx

    1. LMAO - I know. It's seriously scarey isn't it.