Monday, 13 February 2012

Things Kids Say & One Man's Conspiracy

Have you ever been in that awkward situation where you children say or do something that just makes you want to crawl into a hole and die??
You know the instances I’m talking about.  You are standing in the queue at the bank and it’s so quiet you can hear a pin drop.  Then your 6 month old baby in his pram does a “nappy-noise” that everyone hears and all eyes are on you. 
Well, we had another such instance where I wanted the earth to just swallow me up last week.  Firstly, let me just pre-empt this story by saying that my husband spends a great portion of his life thinking that there is one big giant conspiracy theory where the universe is working against him.  Nothing ever goes wrong just because stuff happens, it goes wrong because it’s a conspiracy against him.
So, now that we’ve established that, let me also remind you that I have 3 cricket/footy mad boys at home.  Their life revolves around hitting balls, kicking balls, batting balls, throwing balls, get the picture?  As such we end up with them on the roof, over the fence, in the garden, stolen by the dog, up a tree and lets not forget the ones that go to school and never come home.
Surely other mums of boys can relate to this? This is perfectly normal boy behaviour isn’t.  Well not according to hubby.  See, as part of his conspiracy theory, the “neighbours” who are home-schooled actually jump the fence during the day and steal the balls.  I’m actually peeing myself laughing as I type this because I know what hubby is like, and the fact that he actually manages to work lost balls into a conspiracy theory is hysterical. 

Anyway, hubby, in his infinite wisdom, decides to share his conspiracy theory with master 6 old doesn’t he!  I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what happens next.  Let’s just say it was one of those moments where I could see the “crash” unfolding as it happened. 
The neighbours had jumped the fence for a game of backyard cricket and there’s master 6 announcing to the neighbours .......”my dad said..........”  Argh!!!!!
And try as I might to stop him, once a 6 year old starts a story, there is just NO stopping him.  Calls of “quick come inside I need to show you something”, or “quick, gran is on the phone” even.....”Look!!! ICE CREAM – QUICK!!!” couldn’t get him to stop!!
So after puzzled looks by the poor kids next door, and assurances that they would never do such a thing, I was then faced with trying to explain to master 6 year old that he needed to tell the neighbours he was only joking, dad didn’t really say that!
“But mum, Dad said it.  That’s what he said”. 
So round and round in circles we went with master 6 old becoming more and more confused as to why I was telling him not to tell the boys what Dad said, when in the end I just blamed Dad and said it was all his fault – LOL.
Have your kids ever put you in an embarrassing situation?  Does your husband think there is a giant conspiracy theory that works against 40 year old men?
Would love you to share.



  1. Got to love kids and their outpourings of information.
    My 2nd daughter always used to get men and women mixed up so we'd be in the supermarket and she'd point to a lady and loudly say 'What's that man doing?'. It drove me nuts, I was always getting cranky stares.

    1. LOL - isn't it funny how it always seems to be in the supermarket when they have to announce things to the world.