Tuesday, 3 January 2012

How to Raise Children Effectively using a Goat

I found the funniest blog post this morning via Twitter regarding how to raise children a goat, and it got me thinking.  Ever faced with unwanted comments on how you should bring up your children - from people that don't have kids - or they have the perfect child that doesn't carry on the way yours does?

You know the one, they are full of advice on the child that doesn't sleep, the child that throws tantrums, the child that throws heavy objects at everyone, the child with atrocious table manners, the child that hits.......hang on a minute, I think I'm describing my 3rd child here, hmmmmm.

I'm sure I'm guilty of this myself.  My first child was the perfect angel baby.  Slept, ate, played, he basically did absolutely everything by the book.  No tantrum in site.  I'm sure I passed judgement on girlfriends who weren't lucky enough to have the angel baby....."if he won't eat what you cook then just leave him, he won't starve", "what do you mean your 18 month old is running around the house at 11pm?"  OMG I can hear myself now......LOL.  Am I allowed to use the excuse that I was young and naive back then?

And then along came number 3 (who as I type this is throwing matchbox cars at his brother) who was that bad I had to call the baby whisperer in to help me - wish I could tell you I was joking, but I'm not.  My 18 month old would throw his dinner at us rather than eat it, would still be running around the house at 11pm at night refusing to go to bed, hits his older brothers, throws anything within arms reach.....and on and on I could go.

There are a few reasons why my little monster was acting that way, but in short the baby whisperer basically told me to harden up and grow a pair - hee hee.  Might sound harsh, but it's true - he was walking all over me and I was letting him.

Anyway, back to the blog I read about a goat.  What on earth does a goat have to do with my ramblings about kids?  Well, basically her blog is all about someone offering advice on how to raise children.  This so called expert doesn't actually have children, but knows exactly how to raise children - her sister has 2 girls - thereby making her an expert.  Not that I'm advocating violence, but don't you just want to smack these type of people? 

So our blogging guru from Sleepless Nights responded by telling this particular know-it-all child rearing expert that maybe she should try adopting a baby goat to raise first as their behaviour can often be similar to that of a toddler (snicker).  Needless to say, there's been no response as yet (another snicker).  I've popped the link below so you too can have a giggle.


Do you know someone like this?  Full of unsolicited advice because they know best?  Well, now thanks to the lovely Veronica there is now a solution - buy them a baby goat.


  1. Oh my GOD! Bahahahaha!

    I take comfort in the knowledge that kharma will deliver her a non sleeping, non eating, sleep regressive, temper tantrumming child! :)

    After all ... that's what you deserve when you carry on like a complete smug bastard :)

  2. Oh that is gold. However, I'm pretty sure a baby goat wouldn't throw his toy cars in the toilet then cry inconsolably at this terrible error in judgement, which will be duly repeated in about 15 minutes time (once said car is retrieved and rinsed off). A goat will also not cry to get out of his cot and then run back and climb in his cot, then cry to get out again, repeated until you convince him that it's more fun to throw Weetbix on the floor and then throw himself on the floor and wail. Yep, I'm pretty sure you have to walk the walk to talk the talk.