Sunday, 29 January 2012

Go Away - You're Annoying Me

As you know I have 3 monsters boys. For various reasons I have a 4 to 5 year age gap between each of them. With family all living interstate we knew we would find it hard having them close together without grandparents nearby for a some added help.


Don't get me wrong, I know heaps of families get by without family nearby, it was just something we were mindful of. We were also mindful of the bills and having two or three little ones in daycare at once when I went back to work.


It's actually worked out pretty well for us so far but just lately a few little issues have started. My eldest has just turned 11. He's going into his last year of primary school, he is staying at his best friend's house for sleepovers now, and his friend stays here too.


It's hard because, understandably, master 11yr old doesn't want his little brother hanging around all the time. It breaks my heart though because master 6yr old gets so upset and starts crying, he doesn't understand why his big brother doesn't want to play with him.


I constantly remind him that when Harry was 6 he didn't do this or that, or wasn't allowed this or that. Yet to a 6 year old that means nothing, it's just noise coming out of mum's mouth.


I try so hard to keep him occupied so he's not left on the "outer" and I know things will improve when school goes back and he's with his friends again, it's just hard seeing his little face crumple when he gets upset.

I also don't want to force Harry to include his brother in everything he does either because I don't want him to feel resentment towards him. It's such a tough line to draw.


Do you have an age gap between your kids or are they close together? How do you manage it?

Amanda

8 comments:

  1. I have an 8 year old daughter & 6 year old son & we try to keep it even. If one has a friend over one weekend its the next ones turn the next weekend. Plus I also try & do something with the one who doesnt have the friend over or get my hubby to do something fun. We are very lucky that we have neighbours with kids the same age too so they can have sleep overs at each others places.

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  2. I think that's what I need to do, let him have a friend over more often. I know the mums of my elder son much better but I think I need to make more of an effort with younger son.

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  3. Oh dear, that is a bit of a predicament. I can see what you would be dealing with, because my Mr4 already gets short with Mr1.5 for getting in his way or wanting to do and play with everything he's involved in. I can see this is the start of years of disagreements and frustration.
    I guess it's all part of the learning process, for both eldest and youngest, something that builds their character and makes them stronger. But it certainly doesn't help us Mama's who have to ride out the tears and tantrums. This phase will pass and I wish for you LOTS of patience until it does :o) xo

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    1. Perfectly said, and you're 100% right, it's definitely character building. I'm interested to see how my almost 2 year old will fit into the mix soon, argh!!!

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  4. My elder two are only 21 months apart (both girls) and the being left out with friends thing doesn't seem to be quite so problematic. Partly though this is because we are blessed with 5 good sets of friends who each have 2 kids at the right ages for my kids to pair up with, so it's actually more common for me to have 2 extra kids at once (a friend apiece!) and then they go together to playdates as well (not always, naturally, but at least 50% of the time).

    My 3 year old sometimes does get left out, but probably not as often as if she were older, illogical as that may sound. She is cute and funny and the older kids' friends love to play with her and dress her up, so she often gets integrated into their games. She occasionally will wail if excluded but mercifully it's not a commonplace occurence yet.

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  5. Hi Kathy, I totally understand what you mean. My youngest is almost 2 and the older kids think it's too cute to be annoying at this stage - LOL. I'm sure that time will come though.

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  6. Our kids sound almost identical in age! Mason is 11, Airlie us 6 and Aston is 21months. We do have the problems with sleepovers and why Mason gets to and she doesn't yet? I explained that when Mason was 6 he didn't have sleep overs. I like to know the family well before I let the kids stay anywhere and there really are only 1 or 2 places I would let her stay. We are suppose to be having her sleep over at one of those places this holidays so we will see how that goes. I'm only letting her stay there as I know both the parents well and I tryst them. We also don't have family close by which makes it hard.

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    1. It's so hard isn't it. We're exactly the same. So far only my eldest has been to a sleepover, and only with people we know really well.

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