As many of you know my eldest is in his last year of primary
school. End of an era, and with that comes preparations for the Year 6
Graduation. It seems the preparations surrounding what to wear are just as big
for the boys as they are for the girls.
This year the boys have all decided they want to wear Vans.
So after educating myself on what Vans actually were – no, not a vehicle used to
deliver my veges every week, apparently they are actually a shoe – who
knew?
I had a whole day planned full of things I needed to get done
around the house, but I thought a quick trip to our local surf shop with Master
almost 12 and I could cross the shoes off my to-do list. The fatal flaw in my
plan however was when I asked Master 7 if he wanted to come too. From there, it
was all down-hill.
So, straight to the shops we go, and minus a slight
distraction on my part by the new Christmas shop that had opened, it was
straight to the surf shop. Right, in, out. Easy.
Me: “Okay, which ones do you like?”
Master almost 12: “Purple ones”
Shop Assistant: “Sorry, we don’t have those in your
size”
Master almost 12: “Red ones”
Shop Assistant: “Sorry, don’t have your size”
Master almost 12: “Orange & red ones”
Shop Assistant: “Yep, we’ve got those ones in your
size”
Master almost 12: “That’ll do.”
Great, done, love it. Next.
Master 7: “Can I have those?” (pointing at large oversized
pair of basketball type shoes)
Me “No”
Master 7: “Can I have those?” (pointing at another large
oversized pair of basketball type shoes)
Me “No”
Master 7: “Can I have those?” (pointing at yet another large
oversized pair of basketball type shoes)
Me “No. Basically, stop looking at oversized basketball
shoes. It’s nearly summer, you don’t play basketball, and you’re not getting a
pair”
Master 7 after spending 5min whinging about the basketball
shoes: “What about these?”-pointing to a pair of blue & black Globe sneaker
things without laces
Me –“Okay, let’s see if they have your size”
So we try a size 12, nope they seem a bit small, then we try
a size 13, nope they seem a bit big. Then we sit there and stare at them. Then
we stare at the shop assistant. Then we stare at the shoes some
more.
Me: “Okay, so they don’t fit. What about a pair of the
Vans. What about this red pair. They are in your size”
Master 7: “hmmmm”
Success! We try on the red Vans and they fit. Success was
short lived however when instead of looking at his feet or even bothering to go
for a walk to “test them”, he’s already looking at the shelves
again.
Me: “What’s wrong”
Master 7: “I want the blue & black ones”
Me: “They don’t fit”
Master 7: “hmmmm”
Me: “Okay, so let’s get the red ones”
Master 7 “I don’t want laces”
Of course not, what boy would possibly want shoe laces on a
pair of shoes.
Master 7: “Can I have those?” (pointing at large oversized
pair of basketball type shoes)
Me “No”
Master 7: “Can I have those?” (pointing at another large
oversized pair of basketball type shoes)
Me: “No. Seriously, we’re not going through this
again”
Master 7: “I’ll try the blue/black ones”
Of course – because in the 5min since you last tried them on
they now magically fit you.
Me: “They don’t fit you. Pick another pair. What about
these? They don’t have laces”
Master 7: “hmmmm”
At this point I can be heard sucking in air trying not to
throw a tantrum worthy of any 2 year old. We have the most patient sales
assistant you’ve ever seen in your life, who I was continually telling to serve
every other customer in the store, we were clearly going to be a
while.
Me: “What other colour do you want to try?”
Master 7: “These ones” pointing to a black pair identical to
a pair he already has.
Me “You already have a pair like that”
Master 7 “What about these ones then”
Me “They are the same shoes. You’ve got a black pair. I’m
not buying you another pair of shoes the same as the ones you’ve already
got”
Master 7 “hmmm”
It’s about now I actually have to get out my phone, walk
away, ring DH and let him know that I am NEVER, EVER going shoe shopping with
Master 7 again.......EVER. I now know how Taylor Swift feels.
Fast forward another 15min.
Me “Okay, seriously, JUST PICK A PAIR OF SHOES
ALREADY”
Master 7 “hmmmm”
Me “Can someone please help put me out of my misery.
Anybody?”
Master 7 “hmmmm. Maybe those purple ones”
Me to sales assistant : “Quick, grab them.
NOW!!!!”
Master 7: “These are pretty good.”
Me: “Do they fit?”
Master 7: “hmmmm”
Me: “You know what, I don’t care – we’re getting these. If I
don’t’ get out of this shop now I am seriously going to have a
breakdown”
Most patient shop assistant to ever walk the earth “it’s
okay, let’s check”.
PHEW – they fit. They didn’t have laces. They were purple –
apparently that’s cool, and after waking Master almost 12 up who had fallen
asleep in the corner of the store (or passed out from boredom) we were finally
able to leave the store.
Master 7 “can you take a photo of my shoes and send to Pop.
I think I’ll tell him about my shoes”
Yep, because your almost 70 year old grandfather who I think
owns 2 pairs of shoes will be delighted to hear all about your new purple
shoes. Sure. So of course, the photo turns out blue, not purple and so begins
a whole other world of pain which I will save for another day.
Never again........like.....EVER.
Amanda